A very selfish post; Happy Birthday to me

Warning; this post contains some signs of egoism and emotions. Think twice before starting to read it!

21st of February! (Yeah, I can picture some of you smiling). In my childhood, one of the weird things I would love to do is to sit in front of TV in the mornings and to wait for the part of some morning programs where they give a list of events that happened on that date in the history. Well, now I am not watching TV, but I am still curious to know what happened in the past on the date that I live now. Among those days, one of them is pretty special for me, yeah, you are right, exactly 21st February.

I couldn’t help myself but googled to see what happened in the history on this date. If you are curious too check this, because I am going to talk about only the most important one-my birthday!

Once I read people’s names are the most favorite words of them in their languages. And I think our birthday dates are the most important dates in our lives, well, at least in my life. I don’t know, I love this date, I love my birthday. I really get surprised when I hear somebody saying they don’t like their birthdays. I know we are getting older, but I think it is natural, we have to get old.

In one of our friends’ birthday, I was also asked when my birthday is. ‘Don’t you worry, you will know when it comes, since I get very excited about my birthday’ I told them, but in my heart I told myself; ‘Sabish, hope you realize that you shouldn’t show that excitement here, now you are old enough for that’ Well, I really did try, however no success. There are times that I want to be like everybody else, and not care about it, I simply can’t.

It is really hard for somebody to hide his real personality. In my case, it is impossible, I cannot do that. So here too, I couldn’t help but over the past week, (maybe I should tell month) I kept telling my friends how excited I am about my birthday. Today, (20th of February), sitting in my room, I go back to my own history, and I realize I have always been this way, very excited about my birthday; reminding people of it and lots of other crazy talks related to it.

Now, here it is, a couple of hours till the date that I have been waiting for a very long time. Nothing great or magic will happen, of course, I am aware of that, however, I will feel similar inexplicable feelings I have in every birthday of me. I am sure, you also feel that way on your birthdays, even though some of you don’t like it for some reason.

It will not be my first time celebrating birthday without family. However then I had my childhood friend with me. This time there is nobody here with me from past, I am going to celebrate my most favorite day with new people, most of whom are my new friends; my international friends. To be honest, I am happy for that, yes, I wish my other favorite people were here with me, nevertheless, I am happy to spend this day with my new favorite people-friends from Caucasus and Bulgaria.

I love my birthday, I always have, and I get excited, very excited about this date, I have always been. No, it does not mean, I have always spent this date very well, however I have always been grateful to God for what I have and who I am. And also to my parents, my sisters, friends for everything they have done for me, and for every single moment of their lives they have spent with me. I thank my colleagues, like Bulgarian friends put, Bulgarian, Armenian, Georgian friends and of course, my one and only Azeri friend here. Thanks for everything, and special thanks for putting up with my excitement about my birthday nowadays. I know myself, sometimes I talk a lot, or laugh a lot, or criticize a lot, or bore you with my complicated thoughts a lot, but you are pretty good at understanding me. Thanks for that!

And thanks to my friends at home, or in other countries, who have been with me. I do miss you a lot, and I do miss my family a lot; I know you will be with me tomorrow, thanks to Skype, and social network websites. I do not know, what 21st February means to you, but for me it is a day of feeling love, enjoying being present in this life no matter what and lots of other things that I can’t really explain.

Happy Birthday to me!

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.”
― Gabriel García Márquez

P.S. Tomorrow we are going to pass another exam at university, exam on Intercultural Communications. Good luck to all of us. I am sure we, all, are going to do great, since in practice we do pretty well. Besides I congratulate my childhood friend on this date too, she knows why! (Peri, last year on this date, my happiness doubled; I was really happy for you.)


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Tamara on February 20, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    “Nothing great or magic will happen, of course” who knows sabinka, who knows :))


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