A little more thought on death

Sometimes people are talking about losing somebody in their lives. I have already learned that we do not lose anybody because we do not possess anyone, it is just they come in, and go from our lives, which is normal; nobody is mortal; everything and everybody comes and goes; people flow in and out. You know where the irony of life lies; most times the departure of those people hurts whose arrival has brought a bit of real happiness. You should embrace sadness as you did happiness caused by the same person or persons.  It is sad, though, to know and accept that there is always possibility to see people go from your life.

Recently, I have heard a lot about people who knew their death beforehand. I was thinking to myself it should be really sad, however, I asked myself what about you. You too should be aware of your death. I know it brings a bit fear when you think that you may die in any minute. But it is ugly truth that nobody knows when he is going to die.

When I had my first flight, in the plane I was a little bit nervous, and I was thinking that I was going to die. My whole life turned like a film strip in front of my eyes, like Anna Karenina had when she was dying.  I realized in that plane we should be be aware of that, when you die, you cannot take anything or anybody with you to the other world, the only thing you take with you is your memories, nothing else, and nobody knows whether we will have those memories there or not. It seems pretty simple and meaningless at first glance. But while that film strip was rolling I saw other people around me, it was me and people around, family, friends from school, university, work and other people that I have had a chance to meet.  Yeah, there is always crowd in our loneliness;  people, who come to our life, stay for a while and go, or they grow liking to us and and they stay as long as they can.

During my last days in Azerbaijan, and in the plane I was thinking about those people.  I remembered main heroes and heroines, and other second actors and actresses of my life.  I believe the importance and power of saying ‘thank you’. I thought whether I have said that to everybody who have done big or small favor to me, even bad thing; sometimes you need to say ‘thank you’ to those who do bad things to you, because they teach you to appreciate good more. At school my favorite teacher used to say that in the absence of opposites, we learn to differentiate ‘good’ and ‘bad’.

After that experience, and seeing some people die, I look what they have taken with them and what they have left; nothing but memories. You were born, and you live your life, long or short, (here of course, it matters a lot how you define this short or long) and you die. You are not able to take anything to other world but your memories, and nothing of you can live here long but your memories with people.  I wish I could tell this simple truth to some people around who are ready to kill others just for nothing, or people who are stuck to this material world, and think he or she is going to be here till the end. Nobody will be, but nobody! No matter how healthy life you lead, or how rich you are, the same end is waiting for all. I am not going to say to you how to live your life, but I want to remind you that when the end comes you will take nothing to, wherever you believe you are going, but good memories.

I am aware that I have been thinking about death a bit more lately, because I cannot forget my feelings I had in the plane,  and I still cannot forget the sudden passing of Steve either. I have to mention here that I had met Steve just once for a couple of hours, but that is enough to keep those good memories of him with me till the end of my life. This is one of the only very few true meanings of human life; to leave good memories with people of which Steve already was aware.

The other reason, that makes me think about death more frequently, is the pictures of people passed away on the walls of buildings in Ruse and in other cities of Bulgaria.  If you are attentive enough, you can see papers with pictures of people, and also a few sentences about them, and sometimes with warm words of their family members.  I don’t know how to call it, but I was told that most people do it in Bulgaria.  After seven days, three months and six months they put those papers on the walls for the memories of the people passed away.  When I was at university in Baku I used to read advertisements, notifications on notice boards, here I do the same, but I mostly see those papers, and they remind me of death, and I walk up the stairs to my class thinking about death…


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Xarici on November 13, 2011 at 5:30 am

    That’s morose! I love it. One of the worst things about being sentient is not only the realization that one day you will die, but the incessant way we mull it over in our heads. Some people die with more comfort than others, but I’ve yet to see someone go in a way that doesn’t terrify me.


    • When i think about death, what terrifies me is not death, but what I will leave in this world, and what i will take with me to the other one. I want to be one of those who die with comfort.
      If everybody mulls it over in their heads, the world would be a much better place, I think.


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