Once all I wanted to be was a teacher

Today, we are celebratin Teachers’ day in Azerbaijan. I remember myself explaining to my teacher at university how much I wanted to be teacher. I was a freshman then. I used to say : ‘I want to be a teacher, because I love to share what I know, I want to be remembered even after I die, I want to learn something new every day and also I think, I want to work with people not computers. I want to teach at school, because at university students already know something, so they already have basic knowledge of whatever you are teaching. However, at school it is hard as you are building their knowledge almost from zero, so it is hard and a great responsibility.’ While studying at university I was really passionate about teaching.

After two months teaching practice at two different schools of Baku, I changed my mind about teaching at school. Why? Better not to talk about it. But I still wanted to be a teacher. So I went to Peace Corps. Oh yeah, Peace Corps. I was doing what I really wanted to do, working with people not computers. And I was not just a teacher there, but a student too. I was learning more about people there.

After Peace Corps I could not find a job as a teacher, so I began to go in different direction. And I realized once more how much I liked to be a teacher. I think it is mostly because I was free when I used to teach. Yeah, it may sound strange but while teaching I feel free. I plan a draft of everything beforehand; sometimes everything works out as it is planned, sometimes not. But that is not a problem at all.

‘Müəllimə’ is the only word I love to hear with my name. Sabina müəllimə, for me, it sounds great. Oddly enough, I don’t want to be a teacher anymore. It is not because of my previous experiences as a teacher. I still love to share what I know, I still want to be remembered even after I die, I still want to learn something new every day and I still prefer people to computers. To be honest, I myself do not know exactly why I don’t want to be a teacher anymore. Once all I wanted to be was a teacher, not anymore.

Maybe none of my teachers will read this post, but I still want to thank my teachers for everything they have done to me. However, I mostly thank to life as a teacher. It teaches me more than my teachers have ever taught at school or at university. ‘Sometimes you need to be cruel in order to be kind.’- life is also using this method as a teacher, and it actually works very well.

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